How Do You Ask For Referrals? (Simple Question, But Why Is It So Difficult?)

Asking for referrals can feel intimidating, awkward, maybe even a little scary, but it really doesn’t have to be. I mean, you’re probably asking someone who is already a satisfied client. You’ve done good work. They’re happy, and you have a relationship, so why does asking for a referral suddenly feel so uncomfortable?

Maybe it’s because we think we’re asking for a favor. I don’t look at it that way.

Asking for a referral is simply asking a satisfied client to help you start a conversation with someone else who might benefit from what you do, and when you approach it that way, the whole thing becomes a lot easier.

When is the best time to ask for a referral?

Timing matters. I wouldn’t ask for a referral at the very beginning of a client relationship. You haven’t proven yourself yet. Asking someone to recommend you before they really know what you can do seems a little premature, but I also wouldn’t necessarily wait until the very end.

Wait too long and the work may be in the past. The enthusiasm they felt when you delivered something terrific may have faded, and unless you’ve done a good job of staying on the grid through my Three I’s, Introductions, Invitations and Information, you may no longer be top of mind.

Ask for a referral when the client is happy and the value of your work is fresh in their mind.

For me, that’s often somewhere in the middle of our work together. We’re working well together. They’re pleased with the results, and the relationship is comfortable. Maybe they’ve just told me how much they like something I wrote or how much they appreciate the work I’m doing. That’s a pretty good opening.

How do you ask a client for a referral?

Keep it simple and conversational. You might mention that much of your business comes through referrals, not only from clients but also from referral partners, networking contacts and people you know through LinkedIn. Then, make the request.

The important thing is to make it very easy for someone to say yes. You don’t need them to write a full-page introduction explaining everything you do. You don’t need them to make your sales pitch for you, and you certainly don’t need them to convince someone to hire you. You just need an introduction.

An email can be as simple as connecting two people and explaining, in a sentence or two, why it might make sense for them to know each other, and then they take it from there.

Does someone need to be actively looking for your services?

No, and this is where I think people sometimes get referrals wrong.

A referral doesn’t have to be:

“I know someone who desperately needs a (Fill in the blank) right now!” Terrific if that happens, but it doesn’t happen every day.

A referral can also be a business-building introduction. Perhaps your client knows someone you should know. There may be an opportunity to help each other, share information, make additional introductions or develop a referral relationship of your own.

Not every introduction has to come with an immediate sales opportunity attached to it.

Sometimes the value is simply getting two good people into the same conversation and seeing what happens next.

What should you say when asking for a referral?

You don’t need a complicated script.

Try something along the lines of, “I get much of my business through referrals and introductions. If someone comes to mind who you think would be good for me to know, I’d really appreciate an introduction. They don’t have to be looking for a copywriter right now. I’m always happy to meet good people and see how we might help each other.”

That’s it. No pressure or hard sell. You can certainly add that you’d love for them to keep you top of mind when someone specifically asks for the service you provide.

Can you ask for a LinkedIn recommendation instead?

Absolutely. A referral and a recommendation or testimonial aren’t exactly the same thing, but they can work together beautifully.

If a client is pleased with your work, ask whether they would be comfortable writing a recommendation on LinkedIn or providing a testimonial you can use on your website.

Social proof helps future prospects feel more confident about working with you, and sometimes the process of writing that recommendation reminds your client exactly what you did for them and why they valued it. That can help keep you top of mind for future referrals, too.

Why don’t satisfied clients automatically give referrals?

Simply put, it's because they’re busy, and don't think about it. I’ve gotten a lot of referrals over the years when I’ve asked for them. When I don’t ask? Very rarely does a client spontaneously send someone my way.

That doesn’t mean they weren’t happy. Many of my clients simply don’t network the way I do. They aren’t constantly thinking, “Who should meet whom?” They have their own businesses, responsibilities and priorities.

If you want referrals, you may have to remind people that referrals are important to your business, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Why are referrals so valuable for business development?

For salespeople, consultants, professional service providers and business owners, referrals can be one of your most powerful new business development tactics.

Think about the difference between reaching out cold to someone who has never heard of you and being introduced by someone they already know and trust.

With saying that, the introduction helps open the door, but you still have to do the rest. This is where your sales skills come into play. You have to build the relationship, ask good questions, demonstrate your value and points of differentiation, follow up and follow through, and, of course, determine whether there’s actually a fit.

So, how do you get more referrals?

• Do good work.

• Build strong relationships.

• Stay on the grid.

• Ask at the right time.

• Make the introduction easy.

Then you MUST remember the most important thing: If referrals are an important part of how you grow your business, you actually have to ask for them.

Your satisfied clients may be very happy to help. They still need you to ask.